Current Blog series: Purpose

Posts tagged self-love

Unraveling the Lies

Unraveling the Lies

Personally, it took me several years in relative isolation as a stay-at-home mom, a few identity crises, a prescription from my doctor, and a couple of years of soul-searching for me to finally accept I was enough as I was—no matter what that looked like at any given time. I went to counseling for a bit and formed some new views and friendships that made me feel supported and loved. It took far too long to get here, but I am finally learning and accepting my inherent worth. For some, it might take months or years to undo the lies you have believed for too long—but, like I said, you're worth it.

Series Introduction: You Are Worthy

Series Introduction: You Are Worthy

When I was a teenager, with little to no clue about anything, I craved loved. Attention became everything I was after—no matter the consequences. I texted any boy who’d text me back. I acted entitled and pretended I was cool. I followed the crowd. I wore the Hollister shirts and braved short shorts in the winter. I took selfies in the mirror with the flash on, with my tongue out, and posted them to MySpace. That hot pink point-and-shoot camera had witnessed some horrible trends and cringe-worthy “I’m just fitting in” fads. Smh. Looking back, I feel incredibly sorry for the girl I once was. She was desperate and sad, with no sense of self-worth.

Series Introduction: Healing

Series Introduction: Healing

Valentine’s Day was a helluva lot different when we were kids. There was no romance or expensive dinners. We only knew how to decorate tissue boxes and exchange cheesy cards. There was no pressure or expectation to shower our SO with gifts and acts of love—let alone ask someone to be our “Valentine.” The idea of a boyfriend made us cringe and go, “Eww, cooties!” If we’re honest, we didn’t even want anything to do with boys. That sweet, blinded innocence disappeared with age and in its place nested insecurity and loneliness. Heart-shaped candies no longer made us smile and red roses became a sad reminder. If we didn’t already feel dreadfully alone every other day of our lives, Valentine’s Day was our downward spiral.

Nikki CharnstromFebruary 6, 2020healing, strength, power, empowerment, women, girls, blog for women, valentine's day, love, relationships, love yourself, self-love, believe in yourself, heartbreak, heartbroken, broken, inspiring, inspirational, new blog, truth Comment

Confidence-Inspiring Affirmations Every Woman Needs

Confidence-Inspiring Affirmations Every Woman Needs

Do you know that feeling when it seems as if the world could care less about you? Yeah, I’ve been there recently—it’s not easy. It can feel like you’re unimportant or a nuisance. That describes my recent life experiences to a T. Despite that, I know there are truths I’ve been ignoring—I’ve let the shortcomings of others define my worth. This is not how we are called to live, girlfriend. We are made for more—more than the labels and lies this world forces upon us. Frankly, we are called to live loved.

Remembering to Live Loved

Remembering to Live Loved

It’s so important to live loved and to realize you are not comparable to anyone else. No one will ever compare to you. In fact, from birth to death, your entire life, there is nobody in this world who could ever compare to you. You are so unique and loved. Don’t put yourself through the hardship of comparison. God loves every one of us the exact same. I don’t want anyone to experience the pain of feeling like they’re not good enough and loved less than others. Because it’s not true! God loves you so much. There is no one He loves more than you!

Series Introduction: Live Loved

Series Introduction: Live Loved

It’s nice to be loved, wouldn’t you agree? There is comfort and belonging found in the company of someone who truly loves you. When surrounded by people who deeply care for you, facing the world feels easier because you’re supported. But, with love, hurt almost always steals the goodness and joy that exists because of love. You see, no matter how deep another’s love burns for you, shortcomings and imperfections of our humanity will always hinder our perception of unconditional, real and pure love. That’s the beauty in knowing this truth—before you could earn love, it was already very much yours. You’ve been tirelessly working to grasp a hold of something that’s been in your possession for your entire life.

Stop with the Negative Self-Talk

Stop with the Negative Self-Talk

For the month of April, I did 30 days of prayer and fasting. I focused on trying to find my identity in Christ and figure out where my relationship with God is. If I’m being honest, it has been a struggle. Finding my identity in Christ has been such a journey. One thing I want to say to all the people reading this is… finding your identity and who you truly are takes time. You’re not just going to discover who God created you to be overnight. Hair, makeup, clothes, and stuff like that is NOT your identity. Your identity is who you’ve chosen to be in life and who you’ve decided to be in Christ.

Series Introduction: Identity

Series Introduction: Identity

How many times have you found yourself lost in a search for who you are? Or, in the middle of a trying season, you look in the mirror and hardly recognize yourself? I think we’ve all been in and out of the “Who am I?” phases of life. This world is constantly trying to knock us down and wreck our spirits. It’s in those moments of barely hanging on, we can feel so far away from our true selves. When we talk about identity, we either feel confident and empowered or uncertain and fearful. Feeling good in our own skin makes us brave, while not knowing who we are scares the heck out of us. Maybe, for some of us, we are lingering in the space between.

Nikki CharnstromMay 2, 2019identity, truth, empowering, empowerment, strength, strong women, honesty, self-love, self-confidence, stay true to yourself, you are worthy, advice for women, new series, inspiring Comment

Cultivating the Habit of Happiness

Cultivating the Habit of Happiness

Happiness hasn’t been my best friend lately. I’ve been walking through a pretty gloomy season of grief, loss and some might even call it depression. Although, even in the darkest moments, happiness finds me like a ray of golden sunshine. When it does, oh my goodness do I cling to it, girlfriend. Times of sadness are unavoidable, and frankly, we can’t be happy every hour of every day. So, what am I saying? While we might not be able to control the times when we experience real happiness, we can begin to nurture and love ourselves into it. Becoming aware of the importance of being happy is the first step to allowing the light to obliterate the darkness.

Making Peace with Mornings

Making Peace with Mornings

For years my method for waking was hitting the snooze button until the very last possible minute. Rolling out of bed and throwing on the nearest clothes and rushing out the door with the philosophy that I can get anywhere in Flagstaff in five minutes from my house, no problem. It was never true and I was almost always late, edgy from not eating and drinking only coffee. I didn’t plan lunch, so I’d get cranky and shaky until I’d finally rush to Subway or Taco Bell, or go home and make an American cheese and mayonnaise pickle sandwich. Mornings aren’t my favorite time of day.

5 Steps to Lowering the Volume in Your Life

5 Steps to Lowering the Volume in Your Life

Silence is deafening to me. In fact, it’s one of my biggest fears. I find it terrifying because, to me, it means something is being forgotten: maybe it’s an errand, maybe it’s plans I made weeks ago and forgot to write down…maybe it’s me. The thing is, silence could—and for most, does—mean peace of mind. It could mean it’s time to relax or stand for fulfillment, or be the gateway to the best sleep I’ll ever have. For now, that kind of silence is unfamiliar. Whether it comes to work, side projects or even bettering myself personally, it’s undeniable that I’m a busy bee. There is so much buzzing that my silence could very well not be silence at all, so I’m taking steps to lower the volume—and, in case you’re like me, or on your way to be—I wanted to share exactly what those steps are.

How Can You Love What's Been Lost?

How Can You Love What's Been Lost?

I’m at a loss. I really am. When I sat down to write this, I didn’t think there would be an issue. Self-love? That’s simple. There are hundreds of step-by-step articles on how to love the person you are. But, the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t love me at all. This is my fourth attempt at writing something, and it’s a struggle. Respect, admiration even, is felt, but I do not love the woman I see in the mirror. Everything about me has changed since becoming a wife and mother, and I’m not sure who I am. I’m not sure what I look like without my husband and son. I feel as lost as I did the first time I went blonde in middle school. My hair was mustard, and I was blindly searching for identity. I have wandered so deep into my roles at home I’m almost certain I’ve given myself away.

To the Girl Who Can't Love Herself... [An Audio Letter]

To the Girl Who Can't Love Herself... [An Audio Letter]

At what point in your life did you first feel uncomfortable in your own body? Do you remember the very first moment you were embarrassed with yourself? Or, when did you first feel the pressure to look and be like everyone else? How about that first moment you looked into the mirror, like you’d always done before, but instantly everything changed? When you entered this world, you felt no shame, no fear, and there was certainly no judgment. Your itty-bitty frame, delicate and soft, was absolute perfection. The way you arrived into existence was a bonafide miracle, and that’s damn right beautiful. So, what happened to her?

Anchored in Love: My Healing Journey

Anchored in Love: My Healing Journey

Then, years later, the crash came. I’d managed for so long, but in the fall of 2016, my weary body started firing symptoms like sirens. I reluctantly put myself back into the hands of a doctor, and after running another panel of tests, she found the mysterious bacteria that had been oppressing my body for almost a decade. We were shocked and relieved, and I immediately entered into the necessary but brutal treatment. Love carried me through those months. The love of my husband who wrapped me in blankets every day just to get me into fresh air. The love of my friends who met me where I was at — in my bed. The love of my family who helped care for me. And mostly, the love of my Creator, who planted a peace in my heart not even the tears could wash away.

Nikki CharnstromFebruary 25, 2019chic of the month, strength, self-love, self-confidence, love yourself, illness, immune, weakness, being weak, exhausted, encouragement, God, Jesus, stress, real stories, true, honesty, struggle, true struggle, hurting, inspiring, inspirational Comment

Love Yourself First: How to be Your Own Biggest Supporter

Love Yourself First: How to be Your Own Biggest Supporter

February is all about love. It's the month of course when we celebrate Valentine's Day and can be a very special time for couples, but you might be dreading it just a bit if you're single. Or perhaps you're in a relationship but never understood why you had to rush out and buy all the bouquets of flowers, chocolate candies and giant teddy bears you can find (not to mention the fact that many Valentine's Day displays seem to go up in stores right after Christmas)! If you're not so into the holiday or even if you are, maybe it's just a good time to shower yourself with some love and TLC — a reminder to take time for yourself. In that case, here's some tips from me to you. Self love for me is two parts — actually loving and appreciating yourself internally and secondly, the outward actions you do to keep yourself happy, healthy and full of love.

Nikki CharnstromFebruary 21, 2019self-love, love yourself, love, valentine's day, month of love, self-confidence, be yourself, advice, advice for women, women who write, strong women, confidence, encouragement, treat yourself, inspiring, blog for women, new blog Comment

Why Applause Doesn’t Make You Somebody

Why Applause Doesn’t Make You Somebody

In a recent episode of America’s Got Talent, Paul Potts, the first winner of Britain’s Got Talent, talked about the impact winning had on his life. He said, “I walked onto that stage a nobody and left it as somebody.” The crowd erupted in applause, and the judges nodded in agreement — but my heart broke. I wanted to reach through the screen and tell Mr. Potts he was a somebody long before he walked on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent. Perhaps, he was not well known. Maybe he wasn’t asked to sing for the queen or to perform all over the world. Likely, only a handful of people knew he could sing and appreciated the gift he had been given. But, he was not a nobody.

Learn to Say ‘No’ and Put Yourself First

Learn to Say ‘No’ and Put Yourself First

This year, I have made one resolution: put myself first more often. Sometimes self-love is easier said than done. I would love to get a biweekly mani/pedi or read more books but finding the time to do these things can be hard when you have commitments to your loved ones and your job. This last year, I found myself more stressed than I had ever been before due to the fact that I wasn’t taking enough time to decompress and enjoy my time off. We’re almost a month into the new year and although it’s been difficult to change my ways, I’m learning to take more time to gather my thoughts and do the things I love.

I Am All He Says I Am

I Am All He Says I Am

If I were to treat others the way I treat myself, I wouldn’t be the nicest person. I am so hard on myself as I am sure most people can relate to. I don’t take compliments from others well and I am even more so challenged in the area of complimenting myself. It is so much harder for me to look inward than it is for me to look into the hearts of others. I love telling people how wonderfully made they are. I’d even say I have more recently developed a sixth sense of seeing people through God’s eyes. To look at people and ask God to show me who they are growing into is one of my favorite pastimes.

I Love Myself, That's What Matters

I Love Myself, That's What Matters

Self-love is something I've struggled with. I struggle with comparison. I'm always comparing myself to others. I think that's brought me down a lot of times, and it's made me feel insecure. Another big thing for me is feeling judged — it's never fun to feel like you're constantly being judged by others. In these situations, it has really helped me to remember God loves me.

Series Introduction: Self-Love

Series Introduction: Self-Love

When I look back at the girl I was in high school — no let’s be real, sixth grade — my heart breaks for her. She had absolutely no love for herself. Eventually, I grew up and found room in my heart for the woman God created in me. Now that I’ve gotten to know her, I’m never letting her go. I admit, I still find imperfections in menial things, but nevertheless, my cup overflows with self-love. As we step into February, a month dedicated to overly romantic acts of love, I feel it’s important to remember to shower ourselves with affirmations — and, while we’re at it, chocolates and flowers too.