Current Blog series: Purpose

Posts tagged real stories

Things You Can Put Your Heart Into

Things You Can Put Your Heart Into

It is so easy to expect too much of yourself. You may carry the weight of obligation or expectation. You may live your life thinking about how your existence appears on the outside. Though some may say this is shallow or dishonest, it really comes from a deep desire to be enough; a desire for someone to dismiss your flaws and instead, find inspiration in your path. If you’re anything like me, you get in over your head way too fast. You want people, family and friends to like you, admire you, and be unconditionally proud of you. And, to do that, you think you have to do it all or at least do the best, most impressive parts.

Taking A Wrecking Ball to the Walls You've Put Up

Taking A Wrecking Ball to the Walls You've Put Up

For a long time, I lived under a huge misconception umbrella. I had learned to be independent, support myself and deal with issues (just) well enough that I didn’t completely lose my mind. Because of this, I denied myself the ability to make real connections with the world and people around me. I threw up those 20-foot-tall emotional walls that we all know and love. The millennial devil on my shoulder likes to blame my tendencies of keeping people out on the fact that I’m a Capricorn. But in all reality, I couldn’t tell you what made me keep everyone at an arm’s length for so long. It just happened.

Picking up the Pieces

Picking up the Pieces

You know that feeling when you actually feel nothing at all? When you’ve been beat to a pulp and your emotions suddenly stop? Where it seems as if every tear shed and every dark space you occupied literally drained the life out of you? I’ve been there. While it’s nice for a moment to not feel a single thing, it is absolutely terrifying to think I must have been through enough to where nothing could phase me anymore. Gosh, that makes me tremble. Believe me, I know the brokenness of this world will never rest. We will forever be at odds with the forces of nature that try to bring us down.

Nikki CharnstromSeptember 24, 2020the art of living, healing, hurt, broken, brokenness, heartbroken, hurting, pain, painful, motivational, real stories, real struggle, truth, women who write, real women, new blog, blog for women, encouraging women, inspirational, hopeful, strong, strong women, resilient Comment

Think Big Picture

Think Big Picture

The art of living is the messy and painful moments dancing with the glorious and exhilarating moments. It’s the mundane and the meaningful. What makes life so artful is how beautifully each piece of our day to day lives fit together to form a picture of who each of us are. Sometimes, when I look at my life up close, it seems so ugly that it cannot be adding up to the something spectacular I used to dream up for myself. For instance, when I decide to wear all white to work just to splatter several shots of espresso across the ensemble. Or, when I think I’ve got my temper figured out, I blow up at my husband for not telling me to have sweet dreams before we fall asleep…true story, YIKES.

Embracing Your 18-Year-Old Self (and all of her mistakes)

Embracing Your 18-Year-Old Self (and all of her mistakes)

I sat with these questions for a while and decided a good place to start uncovering this mystery would be my own experience and my iPhone’s camera roll—I kid you not, I have nearly 44,000 photos and videos on my phone, dating back to the summer of 2013. Armed with seven years worth of memories and Bon Iver on shuffle, I dove into a former version of myself. I started tracking back to me at 18. Hard worker, naïve, total choir nerd, feverishly in love and ready for the next phase of life. Graduating high school, starting college, watching the transformation of my total being begin.

Braving the Unknown

Braving the Unknown

Flashback to January 2020: I was in Utah for the Sundance Film Festival with my best friend and all we could talk about was the fact that 2020 would be our year—we would accomplish our greatest goals and find our true path in life. Only two months later, everything began to change. The world was hit with a pandemic and everyone’s lives were affected for the worse in one way or another. Unemployment, sickness, distanced from the people we loved the most. In the blink of an eye, we were all shaken from our everyday routines and forced to face a new reality.

They're Just Temporary Weights

They're Just Temporary Weights

Our picture perfect 1930’s charmer of a home decided to leave us a gift Monday morning—a stinky, wet gift. Our sewer line was leaking from our upstairs bathroom into our basement. For the first time in my life, I was starting to believe that Mondays really are bad days…I was getting fed up. Reflecting on other recent mishaps and getting stuck in the murkiness of our current stressors was doing me no good. I kept thinking of how well I’d been composing myself, how proud I was of myself for not blowing up in any of these unfortunate moments like I may have in the past.

Stop Equating Labels with Your Worth

Stop Equating Labels with Your Worth

I found myself wanting to explain what I used to do. I wanted to explain what happened and justify my reasons for moving on. I recognized how badly I wanted to label myself as something I thought was cool. I felt embarrassed that I was babysitting at 30-years-old, instead of just getting a job with regular hours. Then I felt bad about that, because I liked taking care of babies. I didn’t want to feel ashamed for following my own path. It may not work for other people to have the unpredictability of random temp jobs, but for me back then it was exactly what I needed.

The Balance of Before

The Balance of Before

I underestimated the balance in my life before. Before, when all was right in the world and I didn’t hold my breath when a neighbor passed in the hall. I understood balance to be the in-between I strived for with my busy-bee lifestyle. I romanticized it as maintaining zero unread emails and a full schedule, or splurging on something without having to wince when I glanced at my checking statement. But, in one way or another, balance was always there, even when I was swamped or struggling. I didn’t realize how much I was holding dear—how much I balanced in my everyday life—until it was all up in the air when the COVID-19 pandemic knocked me to the ground.

Series Introduction: Living Balanced

Series Introduction: Living Balanced

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived off spontaneity, road trips, clinking wine glasses, and the taste of freedom. She travelled often and dined well—just ask her bank account. Her friendships were blossoming and her heart was full. Every Monday night, she’d get together with the girls to watch some cheesy romance tv show—btw, anyone else still mad at Pilot Peter? She’d roam wildly on the weekends with the love of her life. Sometimes, they’d wind up on the coast, toes in the sand. Other times, it’d be pine trees and thunderstorms. The location didn’t matter much, just as long as it was an adventure—oh, and don’t forget the fresh air. Let’s be real, we’re all writing stories like this one. Reminiscing on the way things used to be and grieving over the things that will never be.

Clinging to Peace in Troubling Times

Clinging to Peace in Troubling Times

Seven months ago, following a backpacking trip to Canada, I ended up in the hospital due to suffering from severe dehydration, fatigue and blurry vision. After a week of extensive testing, my bloodwork showed I had a rare autoimmune condition called type 1 diabetes. I vividly remember hearing my endocrinologist tell me there is nothing I can do and that my immune system developed antibodies that were attacking my pancreas, and its ability to produce the hormone, insulin. And, in the next year, my pancreas would fail—resulting in me being dependent on multiple daily insulin shots to survive.

Series Introduction: Finding Strength

Series Introduction: Finding Strength

He had just broken my heart and left me to pick up the pieces. I pleaded with him to come back, to talk, to work things out—he wouldn’t. I told myself it wasn’t real, that he was just confused, that he’d come crawling back to me—he never did, and at the time, that killed me. I was a sophomore and still trying to figure out the whole college thing. I hadn’t really had the chance to buckle down and get serious about my education because I was too busy focusing on him, on our relationship, on making sure I was enough. The minute that relationship was pulled out from under me, I had a choice to make—would I grovel in self-pity or would I chase my own success?

Three Habits that Heal a Broken Heart

Three Habits that Heal a Broken Heart

In this life, it is inevitable that we will experience heartbreak. Rejection. Abandonment. Loss. Death. Offense. It doesn’t matter how many walls we put up around our hearts or how hard we try to keep ourselves from being hurt, the reality is that someday, someone will sneak past those barriers and break our hearts. The question is not if we will be hurt, but how will we handle it when our hearts are broken. Learning to heal from heartbreak is an important part of life. If we don’t learn how to heal, we will walk through life oozing brokenness and hurt on those in our lives who did nothing to deserve it.

3 Mantras to Consciously Choosing Patience Over Anxiety

3 Mantras to Consciously Choosing Patience Over Anxiety

Being patient is not something I’ve ever been good at. Whether that’s because I’m a Capricorn or just because I’m a generally anxious person, we’ll never really know why I struggle to be patient and let fate work its magic. We live in a world where you can have the answer to just about any question in 30 seconds or less (thanks, Google!). A world where you can get an online degree in a matter of months, a world where you can find your next love interest with a few swipes on your mobile phone. With all of this power, how is anyone supposed to learn how to be truly patient nowadays?

Nikki CharnstromJanuary 23, 2020practice patience, be patient, patience, truth, tips, advice for women, life advice, women who write, inspirational, steps to patience, motivational, real stories, real women, anxiety, worry, stress, relax, breathe, new blog Comment

Even at Rest, You are Still YOU

Even at Rest, You are Still YOU

Day after day of chaos has me pleading for quiet moments. All I want is to stop for a minute or two and do nothing. I dream of having the sleep and lack of responsibility I had as a child. Taking naps and staying still, I hope, are the rewards of the constant moving and striving. But the moment I stop in one place, the fear creeps in. What will I miss? What opportunity will pass me by while I rest? What if I never move again? What I longed for becomes more scary than the taxing and brutal reality of always working to achieve. I can't let go because I might fade away. People might forget my name, my actions. It is a nearly paralyzing thought.

Nikki CharnstromSeptember 19, 2019stillness, rest, peace, still, be still, truth, real life, real stories, women, women who write, busy woman, inspiring, motivational, inspirational, finding peace, truth about struggle, writing, girlboss, real talk Comment

Her Powerful Will to Live, From Diagnosis to Recovery

Her Powerful Will to Live, From Diagnosis to Recovery

There is something powerful that exists within us. It goes much deeper than faith and far greater than hope. It’s an indescribable strength with the authority to claim our attention and influence our every action. The moment our life is in jeopardy, our will to survive becomes the driving force—carrying us to safety, to healing, to the light at the end of the tunnel. Survival is an instinct we cannot ignore, and if we believe in its power, it can truly work on our behalf. It was the survivor within Jen Rozenbaum that found victory in her fight with breast cancer two years ago.

Love is a Choice

Love is a Choice

Love. We all want to feel loved. We want that feeling of joy and acceptance when someone else chooses us and wants to spend time with us. We want the tingles and the goosebumps of new love. We want the steadiness and the consistency of old love. We want love to be easy. We want to wake up in the morning and FEEL loved. It is one thing to FEEL loved, but it is another thing to KNOW you are loved. I KNOW, in my head, God loves me. I have been told it over and over and over since the day I was born. But, sometimes, I don’t FEEL loved. Things happen in life that cause me to FEEL unloved and forgotten.

The Process of Living Loved

The Process of Living Loved

Normally, I approach these topics by revealing how I have overcome something that once hindered me. I am transparent, but only in showing where I have come from, more so than, where I am at currently. But, when I finally got myself to sit down and think on what it means to “live loved” I was stumped. I tried to think of an instance where I fully stepped into who I am, believing in God’s will for my life and who HE has called me to be. The issue is I am bad at receiving. When it comes to being drenched in the love of Christ, I am like the driest desert you can think of amidst the first rainfall it’s ever experienced.

It’s Time to Truly Love Yourself

It’s Time to Truly Love Yourself

Feeling loved is one of life’s greatest accomplishments. Whether it’s from a family member, friend or a significant other, love is the one thing that keeps the world spinning. Finding the strength within your heart to give your love to others can oftentimes be too easy, but we do it because it’s what feels right and makes us feel whole. But, what about loving yourself and being able to confidently walk in the direction of your dreams because you are confident in who you are, and you love yourself whole-heartedly? That’s an entirely different story. Everyone has been there.

Remembering to Live Loved

Remembering to Live Loved

It’s so important to live loved and to realize you are not comparable to anyone else. No one will ever compare to you. In fact, from birth to death, your entire life, there is nobody in this world who could ever compare to you. You are so unique and loved. Don’t put yourself through the hardship of comparison. God loves every one of us the exact same. I don’t want anyone to experience the pain of feeling like they’re not good enough and loved less than others. Because it’s not true! God loves you so much. There is no one He loves more than you!