Posts tagged women who write
Being Vulnerable Doesn’t Make You Weak

I’m a crier. If I have to talk about hard stuff, you can bet tears will be shed. However, if I’m not in the mood to cry, the walls stay up and I hold back. Let’s be real though, who is ever WANTING to cry? The bottom line here, honestly, is I don’t want people to think of me as weak or broken—so, I don’t cry. I don’t let them in. Vulnerability seems to come naturally to me—in some areas. I am realizing now I keep certain spaces of life secret and hidden away. I can’t seem to bring myself to publicly talk about the things that are hurting me most right now.

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How Vulnerability Saved My Life 

For me, there was no way to write this article without adequately paying homage to the master of understanding and embracing vulnerability: Brené Brown. Four years ago, I was sitting in the office of a psychologist as he tried to break down my outer protective shell and figure out exactly why I was there. Sure, I felt out of control, was dating someone who was damaging my mental and physical health, and was working over 30 hours a week plus taking a 19-credit course load, but “I was fine.” Sitting in the doctor’s office that first day, I was so nervous. He told me to look up a researcher/storyteller/general badass named Brené Brown and that she had a particularly great Ted Talk about vulnerability.

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Own Your Pain, You Will Survive It

I loathe conflict. I don't like people disliking me. I don't like to argue. I don't like to put myself in situations where I know I would be judged. I figure life has plenty of drama on its own—why seek it out? So, I dodge certain people in grocery aisles and delete typed responses to social media debates because I'm not about to march right under someone's microscope. I'm an introvert and an avoider, and I am fully aware of it. What I wasn't aware of was how honesty and transparency can throw you into the line of fire even faster than a good ol' opinionated comment. I avoided the spotlight, but telling my everyday stories to supermarket clerks and new acquaintances made the focus burn twice as bright.

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Series Introduction: Vulnerability

Therapists have been stereotyped for years. The media often portrays them as inconsiderate, nosey, pretentious moneymakers with stiff couches and even more uncomfortable questions. This illusion convinces us that if we are to even think about seeing a therapist, you should think again. I believe there is this misconception that seeking counseling is taboo, and when the words, “My therapist says…” spill from someone’s mouth, judgment is there, trailing closely behind. I’m here to tell you, seeking help from a therapist is one of the best decisions you could ever make.

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4 Tips for Speaking Potential Over Her

Journals—my all-time favorite thing to collect. Although, now we could argue my obsession has escalated to typewriters… as I just added number nine to my collection (no lie). From a young age, I loved to scribble words onto paper while sitting on the floor of my childhood bedroom, spilling the latest schoolyard gossip and writing the name of my latest boy crush 57 times. As much as I enjoyed writing, it never once crossed my mind that I was good at it, let alone that people would ever care to read something I wrote. Until an angel of a middle school English teacher changed everything. We were assigned to write a collection of poetry and come up with a title for it, as if this was a legit published work of literary genius. 

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Endless Potential Through My Limitless God

We are a people destined for great things. Not just the mundane tasks of life, but big things. We are meant to partner with God and His will for our lives, so He may bless our hands as we create. We are meant to dream with our Father, so He may answer our greatest prayers for this life. The best part about our God is He sets no boundaries. He doesn’t tell us what is possible and what is not. People told Him he would not be risen from the grave, so He came back after death to walk amongst the living again. He has NO limit to what He can do. In knowing my God is the source of my potential, I have set no limits for myself.

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Believing in Your Own Potential When it Feels Like No One Else Does

Knowing your true potential and the kind of person you want to become can be difficult. But once you’ve unlocked that side of yourself and figured out exactly where you want to end up in life, it’s the best feeling in the world. Knowing your true potential is so important in our modern culture and with women being given more opportunities in the workplace now more than ever, it is the time to shoot for the stars and make your biggest and best dreams come to life. But what do you do when people around you try to put you down? What happens when people try to make you feel less than and doubt that potential? What about when the people putting you down are the women who should be lifting you up?

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Affirmations of Others Cannot Measure Your Potential

Everyone has potential. We excel in different fields, but there is a place for each of us to succeed. When measuring out our potential, the greatest influence often comes from the observations and opinions of those we respect. If our boss says we have potential to move up in the company, our perception of our potential brightens. We strive for affirmation and encouragement from the experts. The problem is that human observation and opinion are often flawed. People make judgements based on subjective experiences, which don’t always lead to the best instincts about others. Basing our level of potential and worth on someone else's views can misguide us or even cause us to lose sight of our goals amidst our need to impress.

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Series Introduction: Potential

Potential. That’s a word with a whole lot of weight behind it. Parents, teachers, babysitters, tutors, bosses, spouses, you name it — they have all spoken to your potential. The funny thing about potential is the context can either be positive or negative. First scenario: you’re excelling and doing incredibly well, so you’re encouraged to stretch yourself and look within for untapped potential. Second scenario: you’re all about the bare minimum and you don’t challenge yourself. A.K.A. you’re not living up to your full potential. It doesn’t matter which scenario you find yourself in, as long as you’re aware of your potential. That’s key, girlfriend. 

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Threads of Identity

Identity is at the very core of who you are. It’s what makes you… well, you. How you identify yourself shapes your personality, your “look”, and ultimately your heart. From a young age you have had the choice to become and grow into the person you hope to be. Of course, over the years your idealistic self changes and evolves. That’s natural, healthy even. Although, there is one thread of your identity that can never be pulled, ripped or frayed. This seam is strong and without give. The best part is, it exists within you and me.

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Why God Must Be at the Center of Our Quest for Identity

Growing up, I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about my identity. I didn’t sit at home and ponder why I was the way I was. I didn’t spend much time contemplating my decisions or trying to be a certain way. I was just me. For the most part, I really liked who I was. But as an adult, I began to process my identity more and more. Why did I act a certain way? Why did people say hurtful things about me? Why did that situation bother me so much? Why was I the way I was? What was my identity?

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Unrefined, but Loved, Creation in Progress

There are dozens of versions of me I imagined as a child. Research scientist, doctor, gymnast, and a dozen more before I graduated high school. Even when I thought I had figured things out in college, my path changed again. The older I got, the more reality hit, and the more I worried I would see myself as a disappointment. I wasn't in med school. I wasn’t on my way to six figures. I didnt know how to reconcile the dreams I had as a kid with the reality of my desires and abilities as an adult. How could I look at myself in the mirror if I just became "this?” Who would care about the girl who does "that" for a living?

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It is Christ Who Knows Me

Before opening up my phone to find out this month’s topic, I found myself talking to my sweet friend Julia about where we find our worth/affirmation. We were discussing times we strived to get the approval of those we felt reflected the Lord through their lives most. Leaders, friends, you name it.  We came to this common realization that we felt like we had been letting down the Lord when the leaders in our circle weren’t calling out the good things we did or the kind people we are. It was as if the people we admired had the authority to judge us in the same way our God does, but not because God said so. We had given them this power.

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Cultivating the Habit of Happiness

Happiness hasn’t been my best friend lately. I’ve been walking through a pretty gloomy season of grief, loss and some might even call it depression. Although, even in the darkest moments, happiness finds me like a ray of golden sunshine. When it does, oh my goodness do I cling to it, girlfriend. Times of sadness are unavoidable, and frankly, we can’t be happy every hour of every day. So, what am I saying? While we might not be able to control the times when we experience real happiness, we can begin to nurture and love ourselves into it. Becoming aware of the importance of being happy is the first step to allowing the light to obliterate the darkness.

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Your Habit Might be Toxic If...

We are a mixture of both healthy and toxic habits. Some of our routines serve us well, while others don’t propel us forward. So, why do we hold onto those that set us back? Good question… Perhaps, it’s because we tend to ignore our flaws. Or, maybe, we’re just downright ignorant to the things we’re doing that are actually hurting us. For the next few minutes, let’s take a good, honest and hard look at how we spend our days. Girl, put your pride aside for a second, and let’s be real with one another. We cannot fully embrace change if we don’t first give ourselves the time to take inventory of our day-to-day operations and rituals.

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Making Peace with Mornings

For years my method for waking was hitting the snooze button until the very last possible minute. Rolling out of bed and throwing on the nearest clothes and rushing out the door with the philosophy that I can get anywhere in Flagstaff in five minutes from my house, no problem. It was never true and I was almost always late, edgy from not eating and drinking only coffee. I didn’t plan lunch, so I’d get cranky and shaky until I’d finally rush to Subway or Taco Bell, or go home and make an American cheese and mayonnaise pickle sandwich. Mornings aren’t my favorite time of day.

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5 Keys to Developing Healthy Habits

Be honest about where you are currently at. What is holding you back from developing this habit? Don’t pretend to be better at it than you currently are. Lying to yourself will only delay the development of the habit. Often times, we judge ourselves on our intent to do something. We give ourselves credit for wanting to change, but we never actually take the steps to change. This can hold us back from actually developing the healthy habits we want to make a regular part of our lives. Give up the excuses. Recognize you alone are responsible for the outcome. You can’t control every circumstance in your life, but you can control how you respond to those circumstances.

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How Not to Become a Creature of Habit

There’s that age-old phrase about being a “creature of habit.” We all know someone who gets into one routine—one way of thinking, one way of doing—and neglects trying new things. Whether it’s trying spaghetti squash for the first time in place of noodles or spending every night the same as the last, it’s easy to leave forward-thinking behind and keep from trying something different. But when you break out from your usual mold and try things that aren’t familiar to you, you’ll find your life and entire being will be better for it. The key to happiness is finding the things that excite you most. If you’re stuck in your ways and unwilling to try anything new, you may spend your entire life missing out on the one thing you were meant to do.

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A Better Life, One Day at a Time

This is my year of habit changes. I decided I wouldn't start a new diet or begin journaling again. Instead, I would change my habits, trusting these new behaviors would snowball into a better quality of life. Though it may not work for everyone, I like to give myself timeframes. A month is usually a perfect amount of time to stop or start a habit. You also get that rush of renewal that comes from new beginnings, and I need any inspiration I can get. I don't look beyond that month. I don't let myself get in over my head. I just dedicate myself to the decided time. I've grown too comfortable in my bad habits, and I am flush with hope they can be changed. 

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Series Introduction: Habits

We are creatures of habit. Routines are unavoidable as we are naturally drawn to repetition and the familiar. It’s comfortable, predictable and safe. Have you ever considered just how odd it truly is for us to find belonging and purpose in the rhythm of routine? What cadence carries you through your day to day? Is it slow and harmonious, or frantic and high-strung? At times, perhaps it’s both. I would hope if you’re in a constant “go, go go” state of mind, you find moments to decompress. If not, that’s a whole different topic we can cover later this month. Since the beginning on this year, no… not even… let’s just say, lately, I’ve been really into the power of a routine and how the ebb and flow of a day can transform our ability to live fully.

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