Stop with the Negative Self-Talk

BY: CABELLA JOY FJESTAD

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For the month of April, I did 30 days of prayer and fasting. I focused on trying to find my identity in Christ and figure out where my relationship with God is. If I’m being honest, it has been a struggle.

Finding my identity in Christ has been such a journey. One thing I want to say to all the people reading this is… finding your identity and who you truly are takes time. You’re not just going to discover who God created you to be overnight.

Hair, makeup, clothes, and stuff like that is NOT your identity. Your identity is who you’ve chosen to be in life and who you’ve decided to be in Christ. If you’ve been struggling to find your identity—who you’re created to be and what you’re supposed to do in life—I definitely suggest praying about it to God and reading your Bible. Trust me, it helps! I’m not saying you can pray and read your Bible and instantly, your identity will be found. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. You will experience some struggles and challenges along the way.

At the church I go to, we recently did a series called, Double Life: Does Your Monday Match Your Sunday? I’m glad they did this series because it helped me in so many areas of my life. The main question they asked in this series was, “Are you the same person on Monday at work/school that you are on Sunday at church?”

This series helped me in my desire to find my identity. It made me realize I didn’t know what I was building my life on—a question I felt I needed to answer. One of the ways you can determine what you are building your life on is by listening to the words you speak about yourself. What do you believe about your identity? Does it line up with the Word of God?

Think about “I am” statements. Now, this is a very important phrase in your life. It tells you so much about what you believe about yourself, how you treat yourself and, as a result, how you treat others.

Do you choose to get yourself down by this kind of internal commentary?

  • “I am” ugly.

  • “I am” fat.

  • “I am” unloved.

  • “I am” alone.

  • “I am” not as good as everybody else.

  • “I am” ordinary.

But let me tell you one thing, YOU ARE NOT ANY OF THESE! Instead of all that negative junk, tell yourself:

  • “I am” beautiful!

  • “I am” the perfect size! This is how God created me to be!

  • “I am” loved!

  • “I am” NOT alone!

  • “I am” just as good as everybody else!

  • “I am” unique!

Don’t just tell yourself this because I said so. Actually mean it when you say it! If you can’t believe it and mean it yet, just keep reminding yourself God loves you, and you were created for a purpose. It doesn’t matter what shape or size you are. It doesn’t matter how you dress or what your voice sounds like. It doesn’t matter what people think. It doesn’t matter how you look on the outside at all. What matters is what is on the inside and what God says is true about you.

Stop looking down on yourself. Love yourself and remember, God loves you so much. There is no one in the whole world He loves more than YOU!

The last thing I want to say is to keep praying and don’t get frustrated in the process. It is a long process, and there will be hard times throughout this journey of yours. But YOU CAN DO IT! Just don’t get discouraged. Keep pressing on. It’s worth it!

Cabella is an aspiring writer, a young woman of God, and a 10-year-old living with her family in Fort Worth, Texas. In 2018, she published her first book Step by Step: One Step Closer to the God Who Loves You.