Taking A Wrecking Ball to the Walls You've Put Up

For a long time, I lived under a huge misconception umbrella. I had learned to be independent, support myself and deal with issues (just) well enough that I didn’t completely lose my mind. Because of this, I denied myself the ability to make real connections with the world and people around me. I threw up those 20-foot-tall emotional walls that we all know and love. The millennial devil on my shoulder likes to blame my tendencies of keeping people out on the fact that I’m a Capricorn. But in all reality, I couldn’t tell you what made me keep everyone at an arm’s length for so long. It just happened.

Series Introduction: The Art of Living

Lately, my “living” has been anything but artful—and as I walk through one of the darkest seasons of my life, I wonder how on earth do I write about this? About five minutes ago, I thought it wasn’t possible. But, then I read these words by Morgan Harper Nichols again and it’s as if the beauty of life washed over me—reminding me that this darkness is temporary and the sun still shines. When I think about “the art of living” I feel it’s not a one-size-fits-all idea, concept or lifestyle. It’s all the beauties, joys, laughs, adventures, and glimmers of magic that light your soul on fire.

Banishing Fear and Finding Your Self-Worth

When you’re young, things are easy. You don’t think about yourself at a critical level. You’re in school, have friends, stick to your hobbies, and spend your free time evaluating the world around you and contemplating all of the opportunities life has in store for you. Then you grow up. Suddenly, you find yourself caught up in a world filled with self-doubt, deception and questions about what’s next. I don’t say this to be cynical—I really don’t. I say this because it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how much my own thoughts of myself and my talents were weighing me down.

The Balance of Before

I underestimated the balance in my life before. Before, when all was right in the world and I didn’t hold my breath when a neighbor passed in the hall. I understood balance to be the in-between I strived for with my busy-bee lifestyle. I romanticized it as maintaining zero unread emails and a full schedule, or splurging on something without having to wince when I glanced at my checking statement. But, in one way or another, balance was always there, even when I was swamped or struggling. I didn’t realize how much I was holding dear—how much I balanced in my everyday life—until it was all up in the air when the COVID-19 pandemic knocked me to the ground.

3 Questions to Help You Thrive in Every Season

Life is filled with seasons. Good seasons, difficult seasons, busy seasons, restful seasons, seasons of gain, and seasons of loss. There is beauty in every season. Unfortunately, we often miss the beauty in our current season because we are too busy either dreaming of the next season or reminiscing and remembering the last season. If we are living in a difficult season, our last season often becomes abnormally good in our minds. We only remember the good parts and often wish we could return, but the reality is, every season has good and bad. We can choose to focus on the good or we can choose to focus on the bad.

Your Power Lies Within

My strength is woven into the threads which have held my 61-year-old life together. I certainly did not feel strong at the time. It is only when I reflect on what I have survived I realize it took strength. We all face adversities. For some, it may be family dysfunction, financial insecurity, employment barriers, illness in your family, or other real life roadblocks that stand in our way. The situations are all different—and so is the strength we need to persevere. Consider this. Your journey is as unique as you and it is your story to tell. Find the strength to give it a happy ending.

The Safety Net Excuse

If you’re anything like me, you grow anxious in the limbo. You find yourself in-between your future and what you can hardly wait to call your past. You balance on the tightrope of patience and, at times, you lose your footing—yet, never completely plummeting to the ground below. The ever-small voice inside whispers, “You’re almost there.” So, you quickly grab ahold of the rope and pull yourself back up. It takes every bit of what strength you have left but there’s only one thing on your mind—making it to the end of the rope and taking that first step onto solid ground.

From My Heart to My Head

Comparison, feeling anything but content, longing. All of these are pieces of what it means to be envious. This one word scared me so much when I saw it, I didn’t want to write about it. I didn’t want to dig deeper beneath my surface, and I definitely didn’t feel the desire to be transparent on a social platform about it. But there is a deeper need to talk about the many layers behind this word than there is for me to keep to myself. Putting my feelings onto a page used to be a way to release my fears and insecurities—and I lost sight of that.

Series Introduction: Stillness

Life. Will. Not. Slow. Down. Ever since before the start of summer, it feels like I’ve been a passenger on the NYC subway. Quickly getting on, only to hop off even faster so I don’t miss the next train. And, holy moly is this exhausting! I am truly wiped out. Between extended vacations to far away states, weekend trips up north, and bachelorette parties, I find myself craving a Sunday at home doing absolutely nothing in my pajamas—longing for stillness. As I sit down to write this, during one of the busiest work weeks I’ve experienced since first starting my job last fall, stillness is most definitely on mind. Yes, I love the hustle. I appreciate the busy seasons, but it’s beginning to feel like I’ve forgotten the value of being still, finding peace.

Current Blog series: Purpose