3 Steps to Finding Your Truest Self



Identity is oftentimes a word that carries a lot of weight. Whether it’s in relation to your sexuality, your physical appearance, or the way you tell your story, knowing exactly who you are has become an important part of our everyday culture. But if you’re most people, you know finding your true identity—your truest self—isn’t that simple. With my limited knowledge and a couple decades of life experience, these are my practiced ways of figuring out who I am and what my purpose is. There’s no science to realizing your identity but I like to think these simple reminders will help guide you towards finding the best, most “you” version of you.

1. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.

It seems simple, right? Probably the hardest task on this list is finding the right crowd. Life can be absolutely chaotic, and relationships change. Always chose to be around the people who make you feel worthy and loved. Spend your time with those who want you to succeed but also look out for your wellbeing and hold you accountable when it comes to your values. When you find said friends, lovers, family, do everything in your power to keep them.

2. Make time to do what you love, every day.

It’s never a bad idea to take care of yourself and listen to your own needs. Sometimes it’s much easier to focus on other people and channeling your best advice and energy towards someone else. Don’t be afraid to take your own advice sometimes and do what’s best for you and make yourself a priority. Find a hobby you love and commit yourself to it because it brings you joy.

3. Know what you stand for.

This is something that takes real life experience. Everyone has a set of values they whole-heartedly believe in. Whether you value love over money, career over family, or any other combination of things, it’s important to realize the things that are important to you. When you know what you stand for, it’s hard to lose your identity.

Finding your true identity can be terrifying. You’ll come to realize when you know who you are at your core, you’ll start to see the things around you that don’t grow you as a person. Don’t be afraid to cut the toxic elements out of your life—it will only reinforce the parts of your identity that are most important to you.

If you’ve yet to truly find yourself and an identity that suits you best, don’t worry. Everyone’s path to finding themselves are different. Find your tribe, take care of you and stay true to your values and in time, I am confident you’ll come to realize the person you want to be and the impact you want to have on the world around you.

Ashley Johnson is the managing editor of She Reads by day and an aspiring novelist by night. Blogging her way through college, Ashley graduated Northern Arizona University with a degree in English in 2017. When she’s not catching up on the best new reads from her favorite publishers, she can be found taking naps with her four loyal chihuahuas and claiming her rightful title of “VIB Rouge” at Sephora.