It's OK, Even Warriors Struggle
BY: KENDRA CAGLE
There's a great big lie that I bought into pretty early in life. It's a belief held by most of us but made no truer by its popularity. And I/we go even further than simply believing it. We strive to redirect, refocus, reform, reconstruct our lives until they fit into this fallacy. We are courageous warrior women yet we can't shake the deception that, somehow, we are only worthy when we are strong. That we only impact the world when we are successful.
If there's any truth to that, then my life would be pointless. I can't count how many times I've let my tears mix with a shower stream because I needed a quiet place to fall apart. I've lost track of the ways that my life is nothing like I imagined it would be. Considering all that, I start to feel like maybe I really am powerless and without impact. How can I inspire and influence when I feel so weak? Who wants to follow someone who is full of cracks just waiting to shatter?
But this is why that belief is the greatest lie. The world around us pushes us to hold it together and keep up the facade. God's Word, the truth, tells us something much more powerful and beautiful is happening in these difficult times.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
There are days I feel like a shell of myself. I've faded and I'm worn out. I know so many of us find ourselves living through those days even though it's the last place we want to be. On those days, when we feel the least like ourselves, there's so much room for Christ. His "power is made perfect in weakness!” As we grow less, we allow Him to grow more. When the cracks spread, more of Christ's power comes in to fill the space.
When we are weak, we open our hearts to the desperate yearning for our savior. We let go of everything we are trying to be for people and we cry out for the healing and direction that only He can give. At our weakest, He is our strength, and, in those moments, we are most powerful.
On the outside, I'm a failure. There's no fame or fortune to my name, and I strive very little for such things. By the world's standards, I don't match up but, as I have been strengthened through Christ, I see what's real. I see that God has such a deeper purpose for us all than our name in lights. I see the meaning in each and every struggle, and I know He has plans for me. It was only through my weakness that I was able to let God lead the way. I found who I really am through the moments when I felt more Him than me. I realized that sometimes struggle is the greatest gift.
Oh! To be born with eyes this open!
So, moral of the story? Sometimes, when you’re a blubbering mess, you are at peak potential for God to work in amazing and wondrous ways. You are never worthless. You are never powerless. You can be used by Christ even in your darkest moments. So, when you feel at your least, find joy in the fact that God gets to make up the difference.
Kendra is a loving wife, tired mom, and lifelong preacher's kid. She currently resides with her family, 2 cats, and 1 dog in a little blue house in Oklahoma.